I must be too annoying 4 u.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
