I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I would ride that face into the sunset
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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