i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
