you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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