What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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