no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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