Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
