I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
