I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
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I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
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There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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