I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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