omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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