The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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