he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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