i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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