We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
