none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
