I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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