Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
