She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
