Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
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I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
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Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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