I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
