D3 body, D1 cock
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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