She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
