Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
