in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
