his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
