She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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