Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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