No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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