I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
