Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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