Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
