bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
