David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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