I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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