Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
