I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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