eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize