He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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