you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
