How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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