community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
