i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize