we're blogging at a bar
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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