i jhust puked up my retainher.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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