She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
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That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
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I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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