just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
