Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize