she woke up with a sticky ear
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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