Tell her she can't have a vagina
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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