is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
