he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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