How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
