you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
